Polyamory Diaries 4: We’re Having Our Best Sex in Years, Just Not with Other People

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Welcome back to the Polyamory Diaries, where we explore the ups and downs of non-monogamous relationships. In this installment, we’ll be diving into the topic of sex within a polyamorous dynamic. Specifically, we’ll be discussing how my partner and I have found that our sex life has improved significantly, despite not involving other people.

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The Journey to Polyamory

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Before we delve into the details of our current sex life, let’s take a moment to revisit the journey that led us to polyamory. My partner and I have been together for seven years, and while our relationship has always been strong, we found ourselves curious about exploring non-monogamy. After much discussion, research, and soul-searching, we decided to open up our relationship to the possibility of dating other people.

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Initially, the prospect of adding new partners to our lives was exhilarating. We enjoyed the excitement of meeting new people and the freedom to explore connections outside of our primary relationship. However, as time went on, we found that the novelty of dating others began to wane, and we started to encounter challenges that we hadn’t anticipated.

The Evolution of Our Sex Life

One surprising outcome of our exploration into polyamory has been the significant improvement in our sex life with each other. While we initially thought that adding other partners to the mix would enhance our sexual experiences, we discovered that the real magic was happening between just the two of us.

Our newfound openness and communication about our desires and fantasies have led to a deeper connection and a more fulfilling sex life. We’ve been more adventurous and experimental in the bedroom, trying new things and pushing each other’s boundaries in the best possible way. Our intimacy has deepened, and we’ve found a renewed passion for each other that we hadn’t experienced in years.

Challenges in Dating Others

As we found ourselves growing closer and more connected in our relationship, we also encountered challenges when it came to dating other people. Navigating the complexities of multiple relationships proved to be more emotionally taxing than we had anticipated. Jealousy, insecurity, and scheduling conflicts all became significant hurdles that we had to navigate.

Ultimately, we came to realize that the effort and emotional energy required to maintain multiple relationships was taking a toll on our primary partnership. We found ourselves spending less time and energy on each other, and our connection suffered as a result. It became clear that our polyamorous journey was detracting from the intimacy and connection that we had worked so hard to cultivate in our own relationship.

Recommitting to Each Other

After much reflection and discussion, my partner and I made the decision to recommit to each other and prioritize our relationship above all else. We recognized that our best sex and most fulfilling connection was with each other, and we didn’t need to look outside of our partnership to find fulfillment.

Since refocusing on our relationship, we’ve experienced a renewed sense of closeness and intimacy. Our sex life has continued to thrive, and we’ve found a new level of satisfaction and fulfillment in our monogamous dynamic. We’ve also been able to address and work through the challenges that arose from our polyamorous phase, and we’re stronger and more connected as a result.

Closing Thoughts

Our journey into polyamory has been a tumultuous one, filled with both highs and lows. While we initially set out to explore connections with other people, we ultimately found that our most fulfilling and satisfying experiences were with each other. Our renewed commitment to our relationship has led to a deeper level of intimacy and a more fulfilling sex life than we ever thought possible.

As we continue to navigate the complexities of non-monogamous relationships, we’ve learned that the most important thing is to prioritize open communication, honesty, and the needs of our primary partnership. While polyamory may not have been the right fit for us, we’re grateful for the lessons we’ve learned and the growth we’ve experienced along the way. And, of course, we’re grateful for the incredible sex we’ve been having with each other.